To the Protege: Not Done Cooking
He had been rejected. That's the unvarnished truth. There's no other name for it. However, many organizations have invented their own names. They say things like: “We're sorry, it looks like you were passed over at this time.” Translation: “You didn't get promoted; you're not going to get promoted; don't even think about getting promoted; you may now leave enter company name here at your leisure.” Or they say, “A very competitive pool of candidates applied. Thank you for your application.” Translation: “We didn't pick you. We picked someone we liked.” The letter might read, “We think your gifts might best be used (fill in the blank).” Translation: The “blank” is for anything other than the industry, company, or position you interviewed. In other words, look somewhere else. Then there's also the infamous, “This position is not the best fit for you. We encourage you to apply for any other positions we might have for which you qualify.” Sometimes it's not as obvious as these, but it looks more like: “We have deferred your application until next year.” In other words, we offer you some hope but you will have to call us, we won't call you…try again next year. Unfortunately, emerging leaders come across these gatekeeping phrases all the time. What do you do when your best efforts, your best presentation, your best energy are greeted with a yawn?
Here are a few things you can try:
1. Look in the Mirror. Sometimes a look in the mirror will result in hearing “you are the fairest of them all,” but sometimes the mirror tells a different truth: “there is someone in the land much fairer than you.” It is then that you have to decide how it impacts your character. Do you become envious, angry, entitled, or better? Do you accept the humbling message that not everyone can be hired for one job and that you were not the best candidate from the point of view of those hiring? Perhaps there is something you have yet to do to rise up as the most qualified candidate, or something you have failed to do. As you rethink the job interview or the portfolio you submitted with your application, you ask yourself if there is anything you might have done differently to put your best foot forward. But sometimes, the only answer is simple: the best candidate was selected. 2. Call Your Mentor. When rejections come, being isolated, not having any perspective, or not having a conversation partner that can direct you to make good and healthy choices about the experience can be almost as worse as checking the message itself. In times like these, having a mentor near enough to participate in this news becomes a real gift. Make the call. Make the appointment. Go talk through the questions that linger for you. Depending on whether your mentor shares the same career, he or she may be able to add better context to the situation and give you technical advice for the next time around, or serve as more of a support role as you adjust to this news. A mentor can be a real asset when it comes to doing mock interviews or reviewing cover letters at these turning point moments. 3. Pack Your Bags (again). I think of these moments of applying for the next option, the next level, the next job, as turning point moments. They are like destinations for which we have sought to purchase a ticket and learn we don't have enough to make the journey or someone else has already taken our seat, which can be deeply disappointing. However, life need not end. There are other destinations in the world and the closed door represents the open doors in every other direction. However, it's time to re-pack your bags. What new destinations should you scope out immediately? What lessons can be packaged to help you speed your way to the next destination? Do you have any new insights from your mentor you might want to test as you steal your confidence to pursue the next leg of the journey?
These are just a few ideas you might consider when you find yourself in the waiting zone of being redirected. Have you ever been rejected? How did they “break the news” to you? What advice do you have for emerging leaders who have been redirected by a closed door?
