To the Mentor: Protege is Written in Ink
What if, when you showed up places, your favorite music was playing softly? Your favorite foods had been placed in view? Your hosts turned and arose from their chairs or chores to greet you with gladness and anticipation? What if, when you left, you had a feeling you were the main event and that those who were still in the room were still turning over things you had said, thinking of your cleverness, or still sobered by your honesty or struggle? What if you were valued by someone so much you knew they changed the pattern of their lives because of you? It would feel great, right?
With such a reception, you would know you mattered. If you have ever been so received by someone who had prepared for your arrival, with thought and anticipation, then you have the fundamental ingredient for the worthy work of mentoring. Having experienced it, even hoped for it, you could learn to reproduce it.
But what if you have had no significant memories of this kind of reception? What if you can recall no glowing moments where you were made to feel you were the guest of honor, the center of attention? Even if you have yet to have that experience, you (perhaps, especially you), can recall moments when you should have been so treated.
Most everyone, in the core of their being, knows at some level when they have been treated as a “less than,” treated beneath their dignity, treated as though they did not matter. From this seed of self-worth, a dignity-giving method can grow that allows each of us to convey deep values to others. Mentoring is that method.
Our generation is fraught with a crisis of connection. It seems few want to commit much to anyone. And when commitments do come, they are tentative, go-so-far, only enforced as long as “my needs are being met.” The question seems to be: “How can I get this to benefit me?” Or, “How can I pull this off without being too inconvenienced or getting too involved?” In this model of mentoring, relationships are written in pencil.
I propose: ink.
Let the word protégé be written in bold, flourishes of ink and pen. Commit to someone. Pledge yourself to the success of another. You have wealth in your being, not silver and gold wealth, but the human capacity to convey to another: "You matter." That’s the voice of "ink." And when you write with that voice, you make an indelible mark that will not only be etched into the soul of a protégé, but will be multiplied in its effect when read by many whom they will in turn touch.
Mattering is the gift you give to others. Break your pencil ways and commit to mentoring in ink.
Tell us your stories of when someone "wrote in ink" in your life, when they committed to you.
