To the Protege: Setting Thermostats

Like you, I have a variety of friends. They do all kinds of interesting things for a living. I have one friend who is a fighter pilot. Another friend is the chief of police for a major city. I have another friend who is the director of a foundation and gives away $8 million every year. There’s another friend who trains thoroughbred horses. I even have a friend who makes cheese for a living. As you can imagine, when I'm with such friends, the conversations tend to snake into all kinds of twists and turns that make up the human experience.

One of my friends is the pastor of a small family church. From him I learned pastoring might be one of the most difficult leadership challenges one could take on professionally. Unlike a fighter pilot, a trainer of horses, or someone who gives away millions of bucks over and over again, all jobs that had very narrow requirements for expertise, a pastor has to be a jack-of-all-trades. Before them, on any given Sunday morning, the pastor may address the whole spectrum of human experience from cradle to grave, and on some days even that which precedes birth and follows the grave. They must do this, all without the ordinary leverages that can be assumed in employer and employee relationships. They must do so, purchasing cooperation, agreement, and real volunteer labor with the mere currency of inspiration, example, and persuasion.

As temperatures begin to rise, rooms that were once considered "cozy" just a few weeks ago are now deemed "stuffy" as the early days of summer approach. As things heat up, I think about a story that illustrates the leadership challenges of people who must rely upon leadership ingenuity in order to get things done (instead of leadership titles or rank). My pastor friend tells of "the Battle of the Thermostat" that ensues in small congregations all over the country around this time of year. It goes something like this: the pastor arrives a few hours before most people on Sunday morning. Among other priestly duties such a preparing communion elements, lighting candles and rehearsing key points in the morning message, a pastor might set the thermostat so the room is at a comfortable temperature for the faithful who will soon gather (while controlling costs of electricity and conserving energy...and perhaps other equally important spiritual stewardship concerns). As parishioners arrive, it is not uncommon for a deacon or the organist or the mother of four to walk to the thermostat, adjust the dial, and take their seat, having imposed their idea of comfort upon those who may arrive later. The pastor, knowing that these "weather system refinements" have begun, takes one more walk by the thermostat to place it back to 72 degrees just before the service begins. But the pastor soon is preoccupied with duties that require staying put, to remain on the stage, behind the pulpit, at a considerable distance from the thermostat. Inevitably, the gentleman who first set the temperature to 68 degrees when he arrived gets up during the middle of the sermon and readjusts the dial to be "perfect" (for him). Within 20 minutes, the mother of four does the same. The organist gives it a tweak as he walks back to his seat after the last offertory hymn, and so on and so on....

The Battle of the Thermostat ensues.

Such is life in a small congregation. And such is the leadership challenge of those who work with volunteers, free agents, ordinary citizens who offer their allegiance and support without the trade off of pay or recognition. If these congregational members were employees, the pastoral leader might make the mistake of using employer power to set the thermostat policies. She could use rank or position of power to insist things be done her way. She could even use the advantage of her microphone, ministerial credentials, or educational pedigree to demand compliance with her will. But, this would indeed be a mistake. She must use what every true leader must use to instill agreement.

She must leverage her formal leadership opportunity to serve the people to whom she is entrusted. If someone has to run around yelling, "I'm in charge," they probably are not. Authority needs very little loudness to assert itself. In old Western movies, everyone knows who the town sheriff is, regardless of whether that person is wearing the badge on their vest or not. He's the one that gets awakened at night when the bad guys come to town. He's the one that clams the panicked crowd when tempers are hot and better judgment must prevail. Such leaders step into ambiguity and create order for the good of all, disallowing just a self-serving few to set the tone for the group. Leaders use position to serve the most.

She must choose which battles matter, and which ones do not. The "tit for tat" of thermostat setting described above seems like a battle of wills. Such back-and-forth moments can seem like the congregation is challenging the pastor on picky little policies and procedures. However, in most cases, it’s more about an unclear policy and messy responsibility or the absence of a simple solution (like a clear, plastic locked thermostat cover). Unfortunately, many leaders misread the comfort-seeking actions of team members and assume personal slights, threats, and conflict making mountains of molehills, warzones of comfort zones. Choosing which battles to engage and which to ignore is the high doctrine of secure, seasoned leaders. Leaders pick their battles well.

She must manage agreement between good, better, and best. "Conflict management" is misnamed. We cannot manage conflict as if it is going to go away permanently. Instead, it must be transformed. Agreement is often lurking just beneath the methodical surface of any conflict. Often warring parties have ground upon which they probably agree, like "the room should be reasonably comfortable when we gather." Perhaps involving others into what makes up "comfortable" is the collaborative opportunity, allowing members to give voice to what they want and need from the shared aspects of community life. Not all can "win," but all can be given a chance to express their participation. There may be compromises and complements to be achieved, using the contested ground as a constructive tool of community partnering. Leaders invite grander agreements.

She must delegate with dignity. Delegation either goes well, or it doesn't. Less-than-mature leaders treat "delegation as dumping," a way for leaders to dump the work they do not want to do on someone else. But delegation is a chance for the development of others around the leader and the community. The difference between the two aims is often the vision of dignity the leader carries for the members around them. The Battle of the Thermostat is a case of unclear job descriptions, not-yet-established policies, and unstable procedures. These can be addressed through clarifying who does what, when, where, how, and why. When leaders are distracted, fussing over teeny tiny degrees in temperature change, leaders miss an opportunity to develop others. Doing it all is doing all a disservice. It is worth taking the time to develop one other person who can be tasked with the hospitality function temperature tweaking. Working to empower one serves all. Leaders develop members.

She must honor the current comfort zones while creating conditions for future ones. People are going to act so as to keep their lives balanced, their homes happy, and their comfort zones intact. Being comfortable is not a problem; it’s just not all there is to life. Growth often demands change. Change disturbs the equilibrium of the comfort zones we work so hard to create. Leaders are often the ones who must introduce these disturbances in order to be faithful to the emerging trends and conditions. If people do not change proactively, they WILL change reactively. The best leaders help their members gain capacity to withstand comfort at new levels of performance. Leaders grow people.

It’s nice to be a fighter pilot, chief of police, or philanthropist. It’s nice to have all sorts of resources at your disposal to get things done. In some jobs however—it’s actually true for all leadership jobs—the real work gets done through people who willingly give their time, attention, talent, and resources to causes that matter to them.

The best leaders set the thermostat for bigger battles than mere comfort-seeking, they shape people to change the world. As you develop as an emerging leader, set the temperature to growth.

#protege #leaders #conflict #comfort