To the People: How it Began...

My mentor’s been a little busy during the last few months. He has moved to a new state, changed his job at the height of his career, and has hopefully found the keyboard of his Mac so he can resume the weekly blog work. As someone who has moved 2 times in the last 3 years (one move was over 400 miles), I definitely understand. So I'm going to step in and help out. Isn’t that what protégés are supposed to be able to do (assuming mentors do what they’re supposed to do)?

As the protégé, I’ve been the silent one in the background editing and posting blog posts as they come to my inbox, encouraging new posts, and getting out updates every now and then. The editing and posting part is much easier, but I’m going to take this opportunity to share our table story.

The first official meeting took place at a seminary cafeteria table. In January 2012, after slipping on some ice (which, I believe delayed our appointment), I was finally able to sit down to lunch with Dr. Russell West with my donut pillow in tow. I completed my last classes the summer before (the final was a Dr. West class), got married at the end of summer, and officially graduated the month before the meeting. I wasn’t quite sure what would come of this meeting at the time and I don’t remember exactly what was said, but I do remember sitting on that donut pillow (it was a really bad fall), awkward. My proposal for that meeting was to offer 10 hours of help to this professor who was clearly an amazing communicator and incredible teacher, but didn’t always get things across as intended in his syllabi. I thought maybe there were other things in which my propensity for details could become useful.

My offer of time was also for my benefit since I learn by seeing as much as I do from trying things for myself. My husband and I agreed that while he finished up his seminary degree it would be good for me to learn about some of things I felt called to do pertaining to ministry consulting (something I knew I was made to do but wasn’t even sure it was a thing until that final seminary class).

West thought about my offer. It turned into small and big jobs for me as well as lots of sweat equity kind of work that allowed me to learn as I went.

After four years of existing on the same campus, it was my final week of classes, 6 months later, and after over a decade of searching to finally find the mentor I needed in this next stage in life. Sitting at that cafeteria table, desperate for guidance into the unknown future, and completely and utterly intimidated, I made a small offering of 10 hours of my time each week and received years of experience, self-confidence, a mentor, and a family friend.

Although I knew it wasn't true or the only way, I still had certain expectations for what it looked like to establish a mentor relationship. Let me tell you, sitting on a donut pillow while eating cafeteria food was not what I imagined. It was a decade since I first started that search for a mentor. Persistence and tenacity matter, but perfect circumstances are not necessary. If you're someone who has waited and waited for the right mentor to cross your path (or you've sought after one and come up empty), know that you aren't alone. Don't give up. In the meantime, be willing to serve as a mentor to folks, short and long term. Learn from people from afar, tons of mentors are readily available in books, online, and through mentoring moments in your everyday life.

#mentor #protege #beginning #relationships