To the Mentor: Getting Your Journey Right

“Oh, I know what they're doing,” I said to myself, “they are taking pictures around the ‘Now Entering Kentucky’ state line sign.” While driving down I-65 at sunset, the flashing red emergency lights of a church van caught my attention. More importantly, seeing 10 to 12 sleepy teenagers pour out onto the grass on the side of the highway made the situation appear more urgent than perhaps it was.

“They ok?!” I worried to myself as I came closer to the scene. Thinking there might be a travel emergency with teenagers involved, people likely to have less travel experience than an adult my age, I began to factor whether I could be useful to them if it was needed. As I got closer, I saw what the issue was: they were marking a milestone. I could see on the side of the church van that this group probably had traveled through several states and their youth pastor probably had the bright idea to celebrate key points of their journey by taking pictures at each of the state lines crossed. Of course, I'm speculating. However, seeing the kids move toward the state sign that read, “You are Now Entering Kentucky,” reminded me of the many times my own family, a much-traveled military family that seemed to change locations like some people changed wardrobes, made that very familiar scene. Those teens, their leader, and the van stopped on the side of the road wasn’t an accident, it wasn’t travelers in distress, and my soul approved of what they were doing. They were making memories! As mentors, it’s important to not only recognize, but also help our protégés recognize and celebrate milestones. As a wise friend of mine once said: “You only get to keep milestones if you celebrate ’em.” My soul approves of that, too. So mentors, be the tour guide that stops the action for your fast-moving emerging leaders and help them recognize threshold moments that may take on greater meaning for the journey ahead.

Here is a list of some of the usual suspects mentors may find help emerging leaders mark milestones:

Graduations: This is an easy one but I know at least 10 people who were too cool, cynically hurt maybe, to attend their own graduation ceremonies.

Break Ups: Grieving hurts, but not grieving is sometimes about protecting oneself or pretending it really didn't matter, and you’re bound to repeat or make foolish rebound choices.

Turning Point Decisions: Gathering the facts, lining up the choices, and making the call like a boss requires celebration!

Losses: See “Break Ups” above and read the book entitled Necessary Endings by Henry Cloud.

Conflicts: Our conflicts tell us what is important so silence is not an option!

Beginnings: I still smile at babies because they are free, and the personification of potential, freedom, play, and smiles. They need changing too though, and sometimes leak all over, but so do I, only I do it less obviously than they do...most days.

Neutral Zones: A rainy day with nothing but laundry and beans for dinner can be life giving!

Deposits and Withdrawals: Something is going well if this is happening and I'm not just talking about banking.

Sunsets and Sunrises: These are free, daily, and like a visual symphony. Don’t just drive by this stuff; make an appointment with one.

Selfie Moments: You generally know when you look good. Remember: “The Man in the Mirror” is more than a Michael Jackson song, and not just for men. It's about loving yourself.