To the Protege: Mentoring in the Middle
The famous US Marine Corps Lieutenant General Lewis “Chesty” Puller was known to have said something like this at the battle of the Yalu River: “They’re on our right, they’re on our left, they are in front of us, they are behind us…those poor b****rds…They can’t get away this time!” Another vision of his indomitable view of the battlefield goes like this: “We’re surrounded. That simplifies the problem.” Whichever of these quotes is the quote, one thing is sure…Chesty, then a troop-leading field colonel, liked mixing it up in the middle of things.
While outsiders might think the middle is the worse place to be—because there’s a lot to keep track of—Chesty thought it was the prime real estate of advantage. And as a former-Marine, like Chesty, so do I. The middle is the high ground for growth and formation, especially in relation to mentoring.
In Connecting, Paul Stanley and Robert Clinton contributed an important item to the mentoring discussion; it is called The Mentoring Constellation. The constellation illustrates the flow of influence from one life to another. It is important to note, that while directional language is used, it is not intended to convey one person’s importance over another in the constellation. The best way to think through this is placing yourself in the middle as a receiver of mentoring influence:
Do you have an Upward Mentor? In this relationship, you receive mentoring from someone who has greater mastery over the material/expertise than you do. If you don’t have an upward mentor, who comes to mind as someone to ask? For example: a Junior receives from a Senior
Do you have a Downward Mentor? Having a downward mentor allows you to encourage, support, and guide someone who has less mastery over the material/expertise than you. If you don’t have a downward mentor, who comes to mind? Have you noticed anyone asking a lot of good questions in your area of expertise? For example: a Senior to a Junior
Do you have a Peer-to-Peer Mentor Relationship? In this relationship, you receive from and give to someone who has relatively equal social status, but who is on the same growth journey as you. As you both are gaining mastery over the material/expertise, you both share with one another. This is a great opportunity to divide and conquer a large field of mastery. Is there someone you could enter into this kind of mentoring relationship with where you would mutually benefit one another? For example: a Junior to a Junior and a Senior to a Senior
Do you have a Model-to-Seeker Mentor Relationship? Do you receive help in some way from someone who has greater mastery over the material/expertise than you do, but who is a distance from you in time, space, or relational possibility? This may involve historical models/figures, contemporary people whom you may never meet face-to-face but know through electronic exchange (an international leader of high reputation), or people whom you may admire but may never gain intimate access (presidents, prime ministers). This is an important opportunity for cross-gender formation and development. What books do you need to pick up? What blog should you be following? Are there some speeches or biographies you need to start reading?
So, are you in the middle of the mentoring constellation? Have you initiated a downward mentoring relationship, but yet to experience an upward one? Keep working at it. Do you have peer-to-peer relationships, but no other influences, such as role models or heroes that shape your life and leadership philosophy and practices? Keep working at it. Keep working at the mentoring constellation until you can begin the experience of improving effects of a full-orbed developmental lifestyle. Then, only then, can you come to know what Chesty was saying, with a twist of sorts: “They’re on our right, they’re on our left, they are in front of us, they are behind us…I can’t fail to make a difference this time!”
